Siberian Sillyness and False Starts

So I haven't had Internet so I haven't blogged. We're not dead, we're just slow and a bit cold. I left you last time en route to the start line. That seemed to be the easiest journey of the lot.

We got to Irbit and partied hard for a couple of days, got cold, and picked up our bikes. If I had written this at the right time, I would have been telling you how awesome the bikes were. Our steed named Riskiana is a wonder to behold. However she is a bitch whatever way we treat her. We took her on the ice rink and she behaved immaculately. We were sliding round corners, doing donuts and getting a feel for her. But what should have been a big red flag was when returning to the hanger she lost all power and was running or rather not running on one cylinder. We got towed the 500m back and the mechanics simply adjusted the idle and said it was all good. We have experience of Adventurists mechanics and should have known better.

Regardless we we're ready for the off on the 13th. Although promised an early start, after doing some television interviews (we are quite famous in Siberia randomly) getting the bikes that couldn't even start fixed, we were ready to leave at 2pm.

By 4pm we had broken down and it was the same problem. Complete power loss. Of the ten teams, 5 (including us) had decided to take one route (going west) and the other 5 had chosen to go East. A shorter but slightly more difficult approach. We would then both bow north and meet in priobe before taking just zimniks (ice roads) north into the Arctic and Salekhard.

As we had no power we got a tow from one of the teams and as a convey en masse we decided to camp in the Siberian wilderness having completed only 70km. It was amazing to sleep in the ice fields that I can assure you. When we woke the next morning though our tent looked more like an igloo. Ice crystals had covered everything not in the sleeping bag and it was freezing. The mercury read -30 and I had never been colder. We needed to get a fire going or we would be gonners. Fire came courtesy of Eric, Fish and myself. It was a beauty. We painfully defrosted ourselves, packed up and was ready to go. Our bike miraculously started and we headed off. We decided we needed a mechanic as we could only go half an hour before more engine troubles. We pulled into a small village, then oiling get going again so after enough hand gesturing pushed the bike to a mechanic who's wife fed and watered us but he could only get us started again however he couldn't fix the original problem. We then got moving again having effectively wasted half a day and then found a mechanic at the next town. He was more skilled and seemingly fixed our problem as Riskiana sounded in much ruder health. The kids though loved us and we entertained and got entertained in equal measure. We decided to get to the next big town and get a place to stay all ready for a big day the following morning. The hotel owner was also the mayor and we exchanged guitar riffs in his office and seemed to get a discount as another amazing welcome was given to the now three crazy foreigners on Urals.

After a meal of kebab and chips, an encounter with a crazy drunk, we had an early night. This morning our bikes wouldn't start. We push started Riskiana but Eric's beast seemed dead. We tried to tow but thought it best to see another mechanic as this town was big. I'm writing this is a Russian halfords, but one run by 5 amazing girls who have fed us and taken us in as we are waiting for the mechanic to turn up at 3pm. At present Salekhard seems an impossible dream. We need working Urals but as any traveller would tell you it's not the destination but the journey. And this is already looking Incaredible.

Moscow mules, moves, and moods

Priviad Comrades,

Well we made it, that is to Russia! Which given the paperwork and planning that has been involved in itself is no mean feat. I'm writing this on a bus (definitely without sidecar) but we'll get to that later.

So me and my comrade Fish met up in Moscow. Now i haven't seen this boy since i left him sleeping outside MacDonald's in Lima airport last May but he hasn't changed a bit, and I'm thankful for that.

I had been given directions to a cafe by our lovely hosts which was near the train station where the airport express terminated. The directions weren't bad, but not understanding Russian or being able to decipher Cyrillic, I quickly realised navigation was gonna be a problem. How are we going to find a small town in the Arctic Circle when i cant find my partner in crime in Moscow? Of course I used a luxury that i cant rely on which was a phone. I eventually found him (Ok he eventually found me) in a cafe with two lovely local Russian ladies Elena and Anya drinking wine giggling and having a good time. I quickly put a stop to that as my 20kg bag landed on the floor with a thud.

Elena was our couch surfing host and she ushered us out of the cafe to her place. I think it was then, that I realised how cold it was, but I had my jacket on and I was toastie except my face.
Fish of course was wearing what looked like next to nothing. His bag was 10 kg (how does that work?) and of course he didn't look like he'd done a 20 hr journey from the land of Oz. God - you can't help but hate him sometimes ;-P

We decided rather than make Elena cook for us as she had gracefully offered, we'd do the decent foreign thing and have a Maccy Ds. We opted for a take away and Fish has his first ever big mac (wtf!!!). Our culinary habits might be of interest but I think not, and I promise I won't be itemising every meal we have hereon in unless truly weird. But this was a mad physics experiment as within five minutes of walking out of Ronald's abode, the two cokes we had brought had frozen solid. This was something neither of us had seen and put the seriousness of the task in hand into context....of course we just pissed ourselves!!

We had an excellent two days in Moscow where we got some sight seeing done, met some wonderful people (Elena and Alina and their friends), showed we can handle the cold better than the locals by wearing a lot less. and managed to look hopeless on the ice rink but awesome on the dance floor. One thing we know is that we can't wait to return to Moscow to tell our story of the next few weeks to new friends.

So where are we now? Well look to the left and you should see the moving Incaredibles sign as it hurtles to Irbit. We're almost there and it's been a long day which started well (waking up in time), threatened to turn out terrible -the flight was going to go without us even though we checked in on time as the bag drop queue was so long and unregulated. What followed was collective begging and eyelash fluttering and foreign accent pushing until we were involved in a mad rush 5 mins before take off with our check in luggage still in tow going through carry on security, needless to say we werent popular with airport staff or pasengers and i have already lost a glove in the mellee. We now hope to finish in a past out state on low quality Vodka, and meet the other teams (we have met Ice Ice Maye on the bus, and they seem the right sorts)

This is the first on road blog entry so I apologise for the mundane tone. But remember wherever The Incaredibles go, drama inevitably follows.

Paca

Avi Incaredible

Right then! Lets get this show on the ice

So I have been crap...Yes I admit it! I've not blogged. my fundraising effort has been minimal (although thank you to everyone who has donated thus far), media exposure arranging has been nil, and I've not even trained as I should have over the last couple of weeks.

But as we know the first step to redemption, is to admit the error of your ways first. And now baby I'm back...back with a vengeance I hope. There is one small problem!

I'm off tomorrow, so rather than catch up and make amends for past ills, I'm looking forward and I just hope I can get enough Internet access over the next 20 days to give you regular updates on the most terrifying and exhilarating thing I have ever attempted to do.

So lets catch up first on where i left off, and let you know whats been happening over the last few months etc...

The Challenge




Well that's simple. You take an old Soviet motorcycle with sidecar called a Ural (like one from the right but older), take it from the factory in Irbit, and drive it approximately 2500 km Northish through Siberia into the Arctic Circle to a place called Salekhard in the winter when everything is frozen, and no one dares to go out. Oh yeah there's no backup and these things break down a lot plus its a little nippy outside too.


The Partner

So when I came back from Peru, everyone loved the video, asked how I got on with Moira and Adam (both were amazing) and then often said the following "I would love to do something like that but I don't know anyone who'd do it with me". So you'd think when it came to finding a partner for The Ice Run, it would be a doddle. Think again! But I don't blame you all really. And to be honest, there's no one I'd rather be stuck in a blizzard with than the cool and composed Mr Kristan Fischer opposite. Yes he might be the coolest man on the planet (yes that's his very own helicopter ladies, and yes he does teach Salsa too) but he's also my mechanic, navigator, cook, translator, resident Aussie, and all round great buddy too. And we ladies and gentlemen are going to have the mother of all "badentures" as only he can put it.

The Training


Training, what training I hear you cry. Well I have been doing something. Like What? is the normal response. So I have been lucky enough to meet probably one of the hardest men on the planet. And he has become something of an inspiration, my man crush is on Captain James Hooley, who was the first man to trek solo to the magnetic North Pole in the Polar challenge race. He's advised me on what to expect, and how to handle the ever changing face of the tundra. He's also lent me plenty of useful kit too.

So after first meeting the polar bear slayer, I started to do all manner of strange things over the winter. The first was initially easy and then increasingly difficult which was to not wear a coat. Simple really, but frightfully cold without a beer jacket to help. The second thing was to take cold showers. This really was a killer. Initially a shower would last around 20 seconds, but over time, I conquered the fear and pain and can now happily stand under the shower (with no hot water whatsoever) indefinitely. I have cheated a few times, but that's been mostly down to hangovers, and being simply dirty.

I've also done the below, which was a little mad. Anyway, I'm hoping some preparation has kept me in good stead for future surprises.

The Gear

Baselayer

• Talus cold avenger mask
• Scott ski goggles
• Helly Hansen odin baselayer top
• Helly Hansen odin baselayer bottoms
• Icebreaker merino wool liner gloves
• Bridgedale sock liner
• Suunto Vector XBlack watch

Midlayer

• Helly Hansen sailing bib
• Craghoppers corey fleece
• Craghoppers winter lined kiwi trousers
• Terra Nova Extremities power stretch gloves
• Outdoor Research Extravert gloves

                     

Outerlayers

• Rab Expedition Salopettes
• Rab Expedition Jacket
• Rab Windsuit
• Brenig Mitts

Other Gear

• Sleeping bag - Nanok Performance -45
• Tent - Mountain Hardwear trango 2.1
• Stove - Primus Omnilite
• Multitool - Leatherman Charge tti 

I think that's most of it, i'll try to update and add links to most of these as well as some pics.

So basically now i'm almost packed, flying of to moscow tomorrow morning and am kinda bricking it. Sometimes when everyone shows so much concern for your well being, you question whether you are doing the right thing. I'm honestly not sure, but I can't wait, and there is no pulling out now

Here's a trailer of what we hope its all going to be about. So please visit often and find out where in Siberia we are as we try and make it to the Arctic 

До свидания друзья

The Incaredibles will be back.........in The Ice Run

Well well well....hardly a Pisco sour has been consumed in triumph since we made it back from all that Peru had to throw at us, but by jove, another Adventure has been signed up for and the planning begins.

What on earth are you doing now, I can hear you all thinking whilst tutting (go on, admit it!).....Well this is hard....very hard in fact, and dangerous, and scary. And since it's just the two us here;if I am to be perfectly honest, I'm not too sure about this one at all.....not at all:-(

Oh, I havent said what it is yet....well....it's THE ICE RUN   (dum, dum dum is the music that should accompany the horrible graphics above).

Ok, The Ice Run involves me and a partner waiting until its winter, going to Siberia, picking up a motorbike. Not any old one but an old russian one called "A Ural". These bikes have sidecars (you know like Two Fat Ladies or Walace and Gromit) and are based on the 1940s BMW R71.

We will then take this beast and drive the shit out of them no doubt all the way to a finish point in the Arctic Cicle over frozen lake, ice road and river. This will be about 1500km north and take two weeks....sounds easy no?.....well the real kicker is that its bloody cold.....and when i say bloody cold, i mean fucking cold. -20 degrees! sound cold enough for you....well thats the temp at the warmest point, the southern start of the race. when we finish, well the temperature could be anything up to -60 degree celsius.....Brrrrr...it's enough to make your piss freeze.... whilst its in your member.

OK...the sharper ones amongst you may have noticed that this is two person challenge so who from the incaredibles is making it and who's staying home alone like Macauley Culkin?? All to be revealed soon

Happy xmas

Mototaxi Madness - A Short Film About What We Did And Why We Did It!

Tips and Tricks

We´ve been asked, by another nutter who will be running the junket in January, for anything we wished we had known in advance. These are the first 10 things I thought of... Avi and Moira please at more:

1. Take a helmet, it is a legal requirement (though most people don´t) and you will probably need to wear it a some point. One per team is good if the size works, as only the driver has to wear one.
2. Take riding gloves. You may want to consider a warm pair and a pair for hotter weather. Again one per team is good.
3. Take less luggage. However much luggage you think you need, take less! It will make your bike easier to pack in the mornings as well as saving weight. You don´t need many clothes... a couple of sets (one for the day and one a clean set to change into in the night) plus some warm layers for up in the mountains. Also waterproofs, especially in January as that´s the rainy season (I think)
4. Goggles for the driver. There´s a lot of dust and it´s hard to drive with sunglasses at night.
5. Consider whether you really need a tent a sleeping bag as these take a lot of space. If you do get stuck out on top of a mountasin you might be ok with warm clothes and the tarpaulin you use for your luggage at the back (which you can buy in Peru). The Kiwi team survived a couple of nights like this. We never got stuck on a mountain.
6. Tyre irons and puncture repair kit, both a hard to find in Peru. We mprovised the tyre irons with bits of metal and ended up buying more tubes rather than repairing them.
7. Think before you attempt to drive your mototaxi at full speed through 20m of thick mud, there may be a better option.
8. Don´t ride your clutch too hard on hill starts. Passengers may need to push on steep hills or loose surfaces.
9. Try not to hate your team mates, they will probably piss you off at some points. And remember you will probably piss them off too.
10. If you´re not a very confident driver it might be worth doing a CBT (Compulsory Bike Training) in the UK before you leave. This way you´ll be familiar with the controls on the bike which will accelerate your learning curve and confidence.

IT'S A WRAP

The Incaredible Wallabies are home and dry in Piura... of course the last day was plain sailing... up until the final 35km.

We set of from Trujillo at 6am hoping to cover most of the remaining 450km that day. By 11am we had polished of over 200 and were looking forward to a long relaxing evening. We pushed on down the Pan American Highway, aka the world's most boring road, 10km straights passed by one after another, the desert planes offering little visual distraction. Then Pixius appeared to run out of fuel. We texted the others, who stopped by a shady looking house advertising gas and brought back a jerry can of suspicious smelling clear liquid. She wouldn't start. We blamed the petrol and set off in Betsy in search of a proper gas station.

10km further on Betsy's tank was empty. I hitched a ride in a collectivo and returned with fine vintage Peruvian gasoline. But Pixius, snob that she is, decided it wasn't good enough for her. We swung Betsy round the front and roped her up for a tow.

Surpringly Betsy powered uphill with 5 people and a mototaxi weighing her down... until the wheels came off...literally. the chain was off the sprocket and Betsy's back left had maybe 6 good spokes left and was distinctly oval. A lengthy attempt to respoke failed a few more km along, and so we sent Betsy off to the finish line with Pixie's good wheel to pick up another wheel from the French team who finished the day before. Betsy would barely start and drove like a cow, but we eventially got her going. We towed the Ozzies over the line at 1am, didn't mention The Ashes (much), and kicked back to celebrate with a cold beer.

The Incaredibles thank you all for your support, you kept our spirits up. Remember it's not too late to sponsor us! We'll be back shortly with concluding thoughts.

5 people, 4 near-death experiences, 3 clutches, 2 mototaxis, 1 great adventure... still no idea.

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Beach Bums and Bribes

So then, from the ashes a phoenix has indeed arisen.

We made it to the coast! Not without inciodent though. We left early in the morning, very early again. 5am again in fact. It was bitterly cold and our aim was to get to sea level.

We knew our final assault on the Andes would take us to our highest altitude so far on this odyssey, as we drove past icicles and hairy Llamas oj the ascent. I cant quite describe how cold it was at 7am at 4800m. I know I couldnt feel my fingers when grinding up he behemouth of a mountain we were scaling, but I have it on good authority that it was even colder at the back of the mototaxi (not with a sleeping bag as a granny blanket i bet).

Once we started to descend, as the sun started to also blaze, The Incaredibles spirits were truely lifted, especially as we managed to clock a new speed record for Betsy. 90 kph. Now this may not seem like much to those used to driving their high powered sports car, but if you are used to a sedate 20kph uphill in 1st gear, then our speed going down was a real white knuckle ride.

Our progress though is never just serene. This time we encountered a road block. There was a sign that stated the road that funally got us off the mountain was closed between 6am and 6pm. It was 3.30pm. After much discussion with the high priestess of the road (Moira called her the "Peruvian bitch holding the sign") and the mandatory local bobby, and little joy (where's a demented kiwi when you need one), we decided to have a few beers, and chat (upsetting and amusing) with the locals. The aussies put up a hammock between the two taxis, and the hours ticked by fairly quickly. Once the all clear was given, we set off at a tremedous pace on some quite horrific road to try and get off the mountain before it got dark. Unfortunately before much progress was made, there appeared another road block. Quite infuriating, and our anger levels rose when we were informed, there would be another hour delay. This time we just ramraided the blockade,and sent local road transort workers fying. We meant busuness. Finally we were approaching sea level, and after getting to Casma, ready for bed, Moira teased us with an alluring beach resort a further 20k up the coast. We decided to go for it, but an hour later when we got there, at around 10pm, we realised it was off season and no restaurants or hotels were open for our custom. We decided to set up camp, as two tents were hastily put up on the sea front, as beer and crisps were procured, and we laughed the night away in the moonlight reminising about the previous minutes, hours and days, before letting off a few fireworks to let the whole sleepy coastal town know that we were here..I for one was just happy that the tent, air matress, and sleeping bag I ecarried to and through Peru was for good reason.

The next morning, still high on reaching the coast in what seems like great time to complete the remaing 600km to our finish point in Piura (this has changed from Ayabaca as everyone seems to be flying home from there rather than a 6 hour bus ride further east), we opted for a leisurely breakfast of fish, chips, eggs and bread...and set off in pursuit of a better beach.

The main coastal road, the pan american highway is a rather boring straight piece of road. We can go rather quick on it for a mototaxi, but the cross wind and fast moving trucks going the opposite direction make it a hazardous task.
What made it even more hazardous, was the front end of the bike going dolally everytime we came off the throttle. Quite a scary experience, which had to be checked immidiately. The findings were simply shocking, the front wheel bolt was hanging on by the end of the thread...ready to come off and with it the wheel in a about kilometer (and that at 70kph)....this was a near miss and a half.

After much tightening of chains, screws, nuts, and buttocks, we were ready to roll again. I took the controls and we were whizing our way towards Truiljos. Our progress was interrupted yet again, when the boys in blue came up our bavksides flashing lights and blaring sirens. We pulled over and were informed that we were not allowed on this road. Our vehicle docs were then checked. Now there are two pieces of paper that sit atop the mantlepiece at home. My driving licence and International Driving Permit. I'd forgotton these two docs in my last minute rush to make my flight weeks ago. They hadnt been requested or looked until right now, from the myriad police who had stopped us throughout the adventure so far. Needless to say i was being done, and our Betsy was being threatened with impound, and i played this really bad, miscalculating my conversions and bribing the policeman well over 100 pounds when a tenner would have probably done sufficiently. Well we live and learn, and this was an expensive mistake. The whole process took enough time, to think some dinner and an early night was the best option (nobody fancied night driving on this road) as we weaved our way through the noisy traffic jams of the well heeled city of Truijilo.

We aim to start early tomorrow, drive some 400km plus and go past the finish point, to relax on the beach and wait for the other teams, some as far as two days. behind us. But if these last ten days or so has taught me anything, the old adage of "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry".

Make sure you follow us through the home straight, and check our google map page (titled "where are we") on our blogspot. Until next time, this is a slightly poorer and an infinitely more embarrassed Avi Incaredible saying Adios.

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The Incaredible Wallabies

So, it's been a long while and I'm happy to inform you that news of our demise has been greatly exagerated. We're back baby, and we're back with a bang. However, we have found out that driving a mototaxi across Peru is very difficult and frankly exhausting.

I'd like to start by apologising for the lack of updates which for phone credit, no battery and internet absence and more importantly hours and hours of driving (regular 16 hour days with 5am starts), we have not been able to deliver the service we aimed to. I'd also like to thank all the concerned people who have been phoning, texting, emailing as a result of the above. I can assure you we are in fine fettle, and spirits are high.

So, what has happened over the last five days, I hear you ask. I cant possibly go through it all, as this blog post would be impossible to finish from the back of Betsy from which i type this.

I last mentioned that I had a feeling that things would be turning around for us, and meeting our now bestest chums The Wandering Wallabies, Adam Brown and Christian Fisher, was the turning point. Both mechanical engineers, expert motorcyclists, and ruddy good fellas, they have helped us tease an amazing 1000 km in the time since we last blogged, through places like Ayacucho, Huanta, Huancayo and Huanco.

We have though had some other issues along the way, two punctures (both successful roadside repairs), and one for the aussies (caused by lifting the mototaxi onto and off a small boat to cross a river), a missing axel nut (this really could have killed us, as we were travelling downhill at some speed and luckily the chain jammed before the wheel fell off which was a distinct possibility). What followed was a frustrating three hour wait as Adan went to get the part in the town we were heading for, as the repair job only took ten minutes.

I also rolled the mototaxi that day, result one bruised toe and a ripped canvad roof. The aussies repeated this trick with their beast christened Pixius, this time much closer to a cliff edge, and with Moira in it. The only collateral damage was bruised egos, and the fact that Moira can no longer hear the words "Lean Right" without wetting her pants. (Try it when she gets home).

Today was all about the militant Kiwi, Ross, who we encountered at a landslide on the road to La Union. Picture the image, a 5ft middle aged, moustachioed New Zealander running around a queue of parked vehicles, directing a bunch of bemused Peruvians whilst wealding a stolen pick-axe like a demented dwarf hi-hoing his way to work. He had no patience, he was digging a new road when it took more than 1 minute to find the lorry driver blocking the way, but to be fair he got us going again with under an hours delay.

Well tomorrow will bring another early start as we hopeto finally cross the brutal but beautiful Andes, and head for the coast. Only five days left to get up the coast across the jungle to Ayabaca. God I hope we can do it. I can tell you, if we do, it will be one hell of an achievement.

Make sure you follow us to the bitter end, where success and failure hinges sometimes on one turn of a spanner. Also see our real time map on our blogspot page to see us inch ckoser we hope to the finish line.

Bunos Noches me amigios. Until Manyana.. Avi Incaredible

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Clutching at muddy straws

Those of you who have followed our progress on facebook today will know of our third consecutive day of drama.

The thing is, it had started so well. We had spent a miserable few hours in huancarama prison block E, but rose well before the sun came up, eager to catch up on lost ground and get as close to the leading convoy as possible, past Andahualas on the steep mountain road.

We set off in pitch black at 5am, and within an hour unbeknownst to us had taken the wrong fork in a road. The locals of course kept pointing us in the wrong direction, and soon after the cockerals had tarted crowing and the sun had begun to shed light on the blind mutderous corners, we had reached a small river/stream crossing with two banks of squishy mud which circumnavigated a big rock. We sent Moira off Betsy to investigate the ground and also film our attempt. But before she even resched the sure footing of said rock, adam had engaged first gear to hopefully plough through the viscous clay aroud the right hand side of the rock, through the stream and onto the safe footing of the grassy and gravely heaven of the other side.

What actually happened was we stacked it!

Yes, we sunk our tempremental steed in the mud bank.only inches from toppling it completely and nearly taking Moira out in the process. It may have been bettet if we had (of course I mean toppling Betsy, not taking Moira out...cough cough), as we had submerged most of the bike in the mud as the picture shows. What followed was the full gamet of emotions which started with humour but quickly descended through denial, anger, despair and finally hope as we went through plans A to F all ending in failure in the need to unstick ourselves from the mess we were in. We finally suceeded using logs, rope, brute strength, and sheer willpower as we inched our now very dirty mototaxi and very very dirty selves to the dreamland of the gravely bank across from the stream (I kid you not, i'm typing this still cakedr in mud). The whole process took about two hours. And we had the early start and the sheer joy of accomplishment to think things were finally on the up.

And on the up they certainly were, as we washed ouselves the best we could in the stream, reloaded all our gear and set off forhigher firmer ground and the road to Andahualas. But within half an hour we had reached a new low. Struggling with traction had been a huge problem on these muddly roads and the mototaxi refused to take anyone but the driver uphill. This meant a lot of walking for already exhausted bodies, but there was a steely determination to make today a big day, until disaster struck. Our clutch gave out again. Yes our brand new clutch fitted less than 24 hours earlier, would not engage outside neutral. A little tickering with the clutch cable gave us a tiny bit of power and movement, but we were again stationary and suffering from the same problem as the day before yesterday. We called a local mechanic who took an hour to arrive from the town we had left early that morning (yes - wankarama), whilst we were bitten to shreds by flies we referred to as yellow f*****s

The most bizarre thing was the mechanic arrived from the town we had left but from the road we were heading up. The most demoralising feeling ever, to realise the whole mornings work had been for nothing as we had clearly taken the wrong road. To cut a long boring fly bitten afternoon short, we basically lost over 5 hours stationary waiting for the mechanic, parts (new clutch and cable, our new oil from earlier had turned black too), or the actual fixing of the bike. Once fixed, we were told it would be suicidal to leave for Andahualas as darkness would be setting in, and it was bandit country, and the fact that Wankarama was only 2 km away. We reluctantly decided to follow advice and return to our starting point, meaning we would have made zero progress on our supposedly big day,a real kick in the teeth.

As moira and myself we ushered into a car back, we realised from the 10km descent that we were conned into thinking we were that close to Huancarama,and that we would have been better off taking refuge in the village school that the local village teacher had offered us whilst working on our tans when we were waiting for our clutch.

It was a very bitter feeling, as some progress is better than none. However every grey cloud has a silver lining, as we met up with the aussies Fishe and Adam, the wandering wallabies, who were pulling into Huancarama for the first time. We shared stories, pics and vids aplenty of the last three days (They were the early frontrunners who had taken a bad wrong turning), and we made a pact, that we would be sleeping in Ayacucho tomorrow night, a full 200 km away. Is it possible? I don't know, but we will be giving it a try. I've got a strange feelling though thst things are turning around for the The Incaredibles.

This is Avi Incaredible signing off for someshut eye, as it will be another 4.30am start, and it may continue into the night, so please stay tuned for more fun and frollics from Peru, but please no more clutches.

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Betsy's Back but We're in Jail

We woke Benjamin, the mechanic, at around 7:15, it turned out he sleeps in the back of his workshop with his wife and child. We then spent a further 15 minutes banging on the door of the friendly neighbour who had Betsy locked in her courtyard. Benjamin and his apprentice Roni got to work. They replaced the shitty original clutch with a quality Peruvian model. They straightened the wheels that the The Adventurist's crappy mechanics failed to do, they readjusted the brakes and rebored the screw threads of our losely hanging exhaust. We felt deeply unimpressed by the original Cuzco 'mechanics' who were supposed to have rebuilt poor Betsy. We should have guessed when one, Victor, really struggled to show us how to change a tyre...

At just before midday we were off. Another friendly neighbour of the mechanic, to whom we had been chatting all morning, offered to show us the road. He led us for 15km back to the Huancarama (remember it's pronounced Wankarama) fork. None of us had the heart to tell him we had covered the route twice yesterday.

So we drove back up the mountain. Betsy's new clutch worked a dream, but she still struggled to get out of 1st for much of the climb. We passed many bemused villagers who looked like they had never seen a mototaxi loaded with gringos traverse their mountain roads. As we passed through one village a group of kids came charging after us, imitating the wild dogs we passed earlier (with less barking). A random Peruvian stopped us to borrow a pump, he told us in fluent English about the fantastic 4 months he had spent in Ipswitch. On the way down the road turned bumpy, but Betsy was strong and we ploughed on into Huancarama this evening.

We are now sitting in the only hotel in town. Moira has already branded it a prison block, and I concur. The rooms have only barred windows facing the corridor, there is no water and the toilet came preused. Avi says the room reminds him of his childhiid bedroom(!), and Moira has threatened a bad TripAdvisor rating, the owner will be scared (once she's explained what 'The Internet' is).

Tomorrow we plan to leave at 5am in order to hit Andahuaylas by lunchtime and gain some ground on the others. Maybe Avi and Moira can catch their flight? The saga continues tomorrow...

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A Hair-raising day

Well well well, as i type this, Betsy is in a garage awaiting a full repair. I smashed the clutch, late in the afternoon probably from over-revving the engine when attempting the last of many hill starts. Not that a brand new clutch should be f****d after two days of driving, but we are the fourth team to have had mechanical issues already. We actually need both rear wheels adjusted, the throttle fixed and brakes looked at. Apart from that she runs like a dream.

Actually this morning she did, as we took her from our overnight stop of Limatambo up to 3800m and then down. We crossed a river and the vistas were simply spectacular as we drove in the Andean clouds. We arrived in Abancay for lunch with the Windy City Wanderers and Peru Are Ya, and then set off for Huancamara (pronounced Wank-a-rama for those not fluent in Espanyol) where the fun and games began.

We met our chums Do or Die and the Cardiff Cavelliers en route who were then promptly stopped by the police but we were assuredly waved on to find the legendary dirt road that would take us to our next reststop.

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly as we were again climbing in altitude (our spirits were lifted further as we heard the three front runners had taken a wrong turn somewhere and were not that far from us) until we came across the windy city wanderers half turned mototaxi who were fixing a snapped chain. Being the good samaritan that i am, i stopped to help (along with Peru do you think you are - who had rejoined the convoy after getting a lorry to Abancay and getting their mototaxi repaired after you guessed it, their clutch broke). An hour and a half later consisting of serbian lessons, mosquito bites, fire ants and nosebleeds, searching for a bit of metal, we seemed to be on the way again....but no. I tried to pull away, but could not engage first gear. It was now 4.30pm and The Incaredibles could not move. We decided the only option was to turn 180 and head back to Abancay to get a new clutch. The first half hour was fine as we free rolled our steed down back the hill in neutral, but then gravity bit us in the ass, abd he only option was to push. Moira Incaredible got on the hot seat for the first time to steer as myself and Adam pushed. We were being impeeded by first a tarantula, followed swiftly by a steep hill, and then finally by exhaustion and darkness. Luckily a Toyota pick up truck answered our distressed signs and tied our tow rope to their chasis and our handlebars. What proceeded was the scariest 45 minutes of our lives as Adam Incaredible manfully steered and broke as we were dragged back to civilisation at a speed our mototaxi had never done. We even met the French team who gave us the number of an amazing mechanic who had peformed miracles on their mototaxi in Abancay. After on the fly spanish lessons - as we tried to ring the mechanic, much pant wetting - as we overtook and got overtaken by various large and small vehicles, we were delivered by sheer coincidence to the very same mechanic Peru Do You Think You Are were at that very morning. We greased the palms of our rescuers and were told by Tommy the mechanic that work would start on Betsy at 7am the following morning, just enough time for us to roll our machine to a friendly family's courtyard for gratis overnight storage, and to get a taxi to the centre of town for somw food and some well deserved shuteye.

I feel down, tired and hopeful for a good day tomorrow. Ayabaca seems a continent away at the moment, but things can change quickly here as today proved, and we always said this would be an incaredible adventure.

This is Avi Incaredible signing off so he can join his teammates in slumberland. Please stay tuned for more of this madness over the next few weeks as i dream of being carried to Ayabaca on tarantula back.

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First day done. Still alive.

After a lengthy blessing from a Peruvian witch doctor we were on our way. Two teams suffered breakdowns in Cuzco but all 10 eventually got out of the city.

Two bemused locals attempted to flag down our motitaxi despite the fact it was overloaded with gringos and luggage. Others laughed at the stupidity of our plight and one tried to keep the conversation gouing by asking Adam's opinion on the relative merits of the Peruvian and British education system.

We had moments of clarity as the rain fell. We froze in the rain, our warm clothes inconveniently stowed in the luggage. The bike steers hard to the right and you need serious strength and endurance to keep it straight. Lorries sped past us on blind corners. One actually slowed us down (the only slower vehicle on the road), it had a ripped tyre that started to spew rubber into our path before the driver realised he had a problem.

6 teams are now in Limatumbo, 100km from the start line. 3 others made it all the way to Abancay, a further 90km. One team is unaccounted for, last seen 45 minutes out of Limatumbo.

We're off to bed shortly, early start tomorrow.

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GO GO GO!!

We launch today! Proceedings start at 9:30 local time when we parade down to the local plaza for a food festival. At 11:00 the mayor will lead a ceromony before we set off through Cuzco with a police escort. We're excited and a little apprehensive about the journey ahead, but El Capitan is keeping us level headed with his/her cool leadership style.

You can follow all the action on our blog. Don't forget to check the map regularly to see how we're getting on.

Also please text us on +447774 523 224 with helpful/amusing advice to keep us going....

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Bad Decisions and a New Member

Hola amigos from Cuzco,

The Incaredibles met their mighty mototaxi today. What a beast, power, poise, handling and braking power are all words that don´t spring immediately to mind. "Fear" does. We also met many of our fellow Junketeers, a motley crew if ever I saw one. Finally we have a new team leader too!

Since we last blogged the team (including new memeber) successfully completed their first team-building exercise with only minimal moaning and argument. We scaled the imposing peak of Waynupichu, battling through early morning mist and slight altitude exposure. The mist cleared to reveal the awe-inspiring beauty of the acient Inca city below

Now the vehicle. It´s shit, but fun, and a bit scary at first. Moira Incaredible hates it and is now leaving the team, she "jokes". After much coaching and psyching she managed a full lap without stalling. Avi Incaredible suffered the dishonour of the first crash of the Junket... fortunately only a minor misjudgmenet at low speed which damaged his fragile pride more than the bike. Adam Incaredible hit third gear for nearly a second before juddering back to second, he´s still shaking now.

Finally we would like to introduce our new team leader, El Capitán. Despite ongoing rumours about his/her sexuality, "El" has taken command of The Incaredibles with an iron fist. Just today he/she reprimanded Avi for his wreckless accident and sentenced him to 50 lashes for insubordination. He/she will be accompanying us on our adventure.

Two more days of training await before the big launch on Sunday. Watch this space for more Incaredible news...

The Incaredibles are ready to start

The 3 Incaredibles met in La Paz on Saturday. Despite the altitude and persistant Mormon evangalising, which included a trip to a military wedding, we managed to indulge in the cultural delights of Bolivia. Moira Incaredible was even able to stay awake for 4 of the 9 traditional dances we witnessed at the Municipal Theatre.

We have just arrived in Cuzco, the start line city, after an arduous 13hr bus ride. The training starts on Thursday after a short excursion to the spectacular Inca ruins at Machu Pichu. Watch this space to see how it goes.

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We're famous...!

In less than 48 hours myself, Moira Incaredible and Avi Incaredible will be ''leaving on a jet plain'' to join Adam Incaredible in La Paz to start our little adventure....excitement has definitely set in but we still have lots to do!

But first, back to last week and our fun filled Quiz night. Despite some minor technical difficulties with  the music round, and with one or two interruptions so Avi could practice his commentating skills on the football game being played that evening  (I'm pretty sure it was Tottenham playing!), the night was a great success with plenty of fun and merriment had by all! The winning team, The Conquiztadors, were deserving winners of the much sought after goodie bags sponsored by the Schroders Marketing Department. The night has helped bring out fundraising total to £6,900 and we are now quietly confident we will actually make our £10,000 target.  A big Thank You to Clare Dixon our question writer, to the Red Herring for hosting and to Emma Anderson for the prizes, without you guys we wouldn't have had a quiz!

For those of you lucky enough not to be in work yesterday or from over seas, you may have missed the article on our expedition across Peru in the Metro (with 3.5 million readers daily, we're finally getting national recognition!!) so we have included a copy below or check out the on line version Metro On Line .We really don't want you missing out on the top news story making the headlines in London this week..!!

We will keep you updated as often as possible (internet access permitting!) on our progress so expect lots of blog posts/pleas for help over the coming three weeks

Moira Incaredible

It's been a short while! ...and we missed you

Well well well....Its April...It's bloody April I tells ya, and one third of The Incaredibles has already set up base camp in South America... Yes, the brains trust of the motley crew, Adam Incaredible has begun his sojour all things South American. (Now I'm not in the habit of advertising other people's blogs but I'll make an exception here. Please please please, take a minute or two and have a most fascinating read of Adam's adventures so far diarised on his blog), leaving myself Avi Incaredible, and Moira Incaredible to pick up the pieces of the UK operation.

So what has the UK operation been up to? I hear you shouting into your pc monitors and androidy phones. Well rather a lot actually! We have managed - with your help - to move our fund raising total from £2k through the threes and fours quite serenely, and are now resting quite stunningly on £5700 give or take a bob or two. So thank you generous people of the world (you know who you are), give yourselves a pat on the back as I doff my cap to you. Our charity Practical Action are suitably impressed and informed us that we are creeping up their "all time list" into third spot. But much like orphaned children in victorian workhouses, "we want more".

Are we being greedy? Well maybe, but the ball has started rolling, and we do not want to impinge on things and mess with momentum like some kind of anti Newtonians, and Practical Actionn are such an awfully good cause.

So what else is happening? Well Moira Incaredible has done two things! A whole two things I kid you not. One, she has bought a pretty pink helmet. which in itself serves two main purposes. One, to protect that very clever little head of hers, and secondly it completes her Penelope pitstop outfit totallly.We have drawn the line in christening the mototaxi "The compact pussycat" though. This purchse also has a more utalitarian effect, as she has also (admittedly more importantly) been on a first aid course, so it is vital we keep all that practical knowledge safe in the warm tight remit of pink hard wearing vulcanised plastic.

In other news, no planning of an actual route map has happened, but we have organised a Quiz. This will take place at the Red Herring on wood street in the city on 20th April at 6pm. If you are interested in entering a team of 5 (at a cost of £10 per person) please email us with the letters Q-U- I-Z in the title preferably in that order. Even if you are not interested in pitting your minds against our fiendish questionmaster, feel free to drop in for a drink or two, as it may be the last time you see us (well at least befoe we go)

Our next blog will be much sooner, and will be delivered by the most qualified Dr. Moira and will be brought to you by the letters "T" and "I" and hopefully the number 10k, so toodle pip for now, and in the immortal worlds of William "S" Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan "Be Excellent!"

Avi Incaredible

Change of plan + some incaredible news

News just in: We've heard from The Adventurists that the start is moving from Puno to Cusco. This means a bit of a shorter route and therefore more chance of making those return flights. The reason behind the change is slightly unclear, something about getting more support from the Peruvians.

Other Incaredible news: We've topped £2k in sponsorship! Thanks for all your support :-)

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Front page news!

We were front page news in the Watford Free Observer this week!